dat is eh

My people jist plenti o, Hw una dey na? Calabar boi just dey o. Oga fineguy wey i dey share 2bdr apartment with don run leave house o. Bobo dey enjoy for new york, na so every evening d bobo dey call, dey tell me of the atrocities wey him dey commit for brooklyn, me sef vacation come dey hungry me, e be like say i go run go cali go chill b4 school start again o.

Things don happen for the past coupla weeks man. Story plenti where i go nack una. 4 weeks ago, Oga fineguy parents decided to drop in unannounced from PH, naija. The previous night me, oga fineguy, my ibo brother (mr flashy) and my sri lankan friend( make i call am Nolan) we just jam club o, Oga nolan just buy 2008 mercedes c class o, so we just dey strut, dey pose, dey flex, dey jam to T.I new hit(whatever u like) dey enter club, b4 this we don hit a coupla bars downtown so i been don high with enough grey goose, Hennessy and smirnoff. It was amazing say cops no stop us dash us DUI ticket that night. Omo na so i just dey bust move for dance floor no be small, just dey shake body like my second uncle on my aunty brother side Mr michael jackson teach me. Omo as we just dey shake body now, boys don dey shine eye, dey look for kokolets wey we go carry go house na. As club end around 3am, we just dey outside dey chat up 3 chickas, dem come gree follow us go house.

As we reach house na, we don dey smile say dis one we go nyash till kingdom come. Na so dem gals drop bomb o. Dem say they were in their early 30s, we tell dem say age is just a number, because personally as long as u never clock 50, to me u r still fuckable. Dem drop second bomb say dem dey married, say dem don dey married ranging from 9 to 11 years. We say ok, na wahala e go make life easy we nyash u finish, u go back go meet ur husband, no strings attached. Na so dem drop another bomb say d three of them get 2 pickin each. Say their husbands carry their pickin dem go camping so dem sef dey do gals nite out.

Omo as i take one of them enter room na( make i call am emily). Na so d gal dey talk say she no know whether she wan do again o, see whahala o, omo na so i spend 45 minutes dey hustle dis gal no be small,d gal sef stubborn pass naija woman o, I talk sotey saliva dry for mouth, d drink wey i drink clear me for eye. After enough cajoling and talking the girl come gree. Omo na so i use vex nyash am, d gal sef dey freaky o, i nyash so tey after three rounds, my junior officer no gree standa again o. Na im we go sleep o. 6.45am on the dot dis gal wake up o, say she wan do again. For my mind i dey yarn see me see wahala o, first u no wan do, now u wan kill me, ahh e no go better for u o. Luckily i had a legitimate reason, we had use all the condoms i had the previous nite, so i tell am say we no fit nyash o, say condom don finish. Na so d gal say make i nyash am raw, Na i tell am say no matter how juicy dat pussy dey, my junior officer no go nack am raw, i no know which kind std she get, in fact i no wan know, make she just keep am to her self. I have to be alive to shag another day o, i no wan dey take medicine for the rest of my life o. The gal say in a few hrs she go enter walgreens pick up condoms come back house.

A few minutes later, na so oga fineguy parents call o, say dem dey our former apartment make we come open the security locked entrance give dem. Na im oga fineguy tell dem say we don move give dem new address. wetin sef us be say the distance from the former apartment to the new one is roughly 20 mins. Omo na so oga fineguy call me tell me wetin dey happen, omo see as boys dey panic. Fear catch me no be small o. The speed wey we take discharge those gals ehh, u go feel say house dey on fire. we just dey holla, "ladies u gotta go, Now, Now, common move it. yeah dont forget ur bra, yeah pick up ur panties, yeah u gotta get ur arse outta here immediately". The gals sef come dey wonder wetin dem do. See as we dey do speed vacuuming and clean up, we just dey rip off all the wall posters wey women dey naked from wall, dey put up religious banners for wall, dey put up family pictures, open window up febreeze the entire apartment. A few minutes later fineguy parents enter house o, we just put up innocent faces, dey smile give dem. omo na so dem just spoil dat week o. If to say dem come catch us with women for house, oga fineguy parent for immediately call my own people, give dem dey gist, na so my parents sef for enter d first flight wey dey leave naija to yankee. I just dey imagine my old man for dey tell my mama,'' i told u. Didn't i say that boy should not have gone to school in America. Dont say i didn't tell u so. He should have gone to school in london where my two brothers are, so they could keep an eye on him''. My momsy sef for find naija church for yankee here make sure say i go deliverance, do dry fasting. The thought of it still gives me the jitters. No matter how old pickin dey, parents still dey get final word o. As per emily, i carry am go nolan house go nyash am four times dat week, as my apartment wasnt conducive for any woman to enter. After giving her enough koboko we just cut the nyashing rounds off as her husband been don come back. Pastor pickin, na dem dey spoil pass na.

On the other hand, our dream team try for beijing sha o. Make we give dem a hand of applause. Winning silver sef no be small thing. Much kudos to Siasia and the rest of the coaching crew. Those bobos try well well, to show say we no gats spend thousand of euros to employ froeign coach wey n fit coach at all.

E be like say ur boy don fall in lovina o. E get this indian gal wey we take the same Management class 4 spring semester, the gal sexy no be small. Me and Mr flashy go oga nolan house to go chop some kind spicy sri lankan food wey d guy don prepare, na so i go jam dis indian gal for dere (make i call am nadia). So we begin dey yarn just dey jist abt school, work and etc, i come ask am out the girl gree o. Omo na so i go wash my baby envy(dats my cars name by d way)well, well, clean am up so both the exterior and interior dey bling. Come dress up like one kain gentleman. luckily4 me( e sweet to get friend whose parents are stinkingly rich) b4 oga fineguy parents go dem drop me 6 grand( na 3 months pay check be dat o. na so i dey do yanga give my boss nowadays, i no dey work as much as before, d woman sef don dey complain, but dat one na different stori), so pepper don rest, money plenti to spend. so we just did the regular dinner and movies and later went on the lake walk and talked as we enjoyed the scenery, ur boy was just being the nice gentleman and everything. Normally, during the first dates, i dey unfailingly touch first base, by the third date i don touchdown, nack to my fullest. But for some reasons it hasnt being so, with nadia, since we have been out on almost 7 dates I no been wan rush am o, i dey keep d gal special. Who knows she might be the one. We finally made passionate love yesterday( Have u guys noted the change in words, we didnt have sex, "we made passionate love"). Am not gonna share the sordid details as i usually do, cos dis one dey special, i fit carry am go meet momsy, my naija gals make una no vex o. I can only say I was ninja fucked and it was spectacular, amazing, so fucking awesome and mindbreaking. Lets c how it plays out, dont know if i dey lovina levels, abi na just infatuation, cos i think my randy days might just be over.

Make una take am easy sha. To calabar gal, Hw far now?
God bless Y'all.