We have been dreading this day for the past couple months. A lotta things have been in the works that we haven't had any power over. Am at the airport, looking at her, thinking, "Damn dude, is this really happening? Is this goodbye for ever?". I could just take the next step and tell her not to go, that she should stay with me, we will deal with the repercussions from her family later, but I ask myself " what do I have to offer her? would I be acting selfishly? Do I have what it takes to keep her happy? Would she still love me five years down the road?"
Twelve hours earlier, we were making passionate love, she was on top of me, staring at me, and just grinding the hell outta me. She told me she loved me, and I believed her, it felt good to be loved and to love someone back in return. You know when you have that oh yeah feeling, you are with the right person, and that everything is good, I was there and I was loving every moment of it.
For the past three months we have shared an apartment together, despite the recession I was lucky to get a paid summer internship at the company she worked for, so i moved in with her. We were living the dream, the perfect couple, we had even gone a step forward in our relationship, after five negative Hiv/Std tests spread over the course of a year, we had shed the condoms and were going bareback, she was on birth control of course. We got back from work together, she cooked, i cleaned, We went for long walks together, we went for weekends gateway, oh the long weekend drives to Canada, doing the touristy thing and just having good old fun, and oh did I mention the sex, all i gotta say it was smoking hot, every single time.
So am here at the airport kissing her, telling her goodbye, watching her walk away to board her flight. she was gonna have a stop over in Chicago, arrive in London, stay for a few days with her girlfriends, before catching a flight with them to India. After watching her plane leave, I went back to our apartment to finish boxing my stuff, loaded them in my car and started crying my heart out on the five hours drive back.
Five days later, I get the call I have been dreading. All she said was "Baby, am married. Am so sorry" and she started crying. Its then that it hits me, I might have just made the worst mistake of my life, I have lost Nadia to the evil of arranged marriage.
Thoughts @ 40
5 weeks ago