na so e be.

My people wetin dey? So me and nadia have been going out for a while now right. It kinda feels good to wake up to her brown sexy arse in ma bed. So the other day i met her brother. The brother and I had taken a Philosophy class a few years back, and the guy has a teribble attitude problem, since I be naija boy and we no dey take last i decided to put him in his place, so nevertheless we havent been on good terms since then. So this is how the conversation went...

Nadia bros: "I heard u going out with my lil sis"
Calabar boi: Yeah thats right.
Nadia bros: I dont like it
Calabar boi: Dats too bad bro.( felt like saying "who gives a fuck what u like.")
Nadia bros: I told my Dad about u two.
Calabar boi: oh yeah.
Nadia bros: He doesnt like Nigerians.
Calabar boi: He's entitled to his opinion.( I been one say something bad about im own country people, i just hold myself)
The guy just c say im no fit get rise outta me, na so him hiss commot. Felt like punching the short morrafucker.

Dat gal nadia na craze gal o, omo na so d gal don come overshadow my life like play. when i meet am d gal tell me say if i dey wit am, she go make sure say i no go look anoda woman. I feel say na joke, i know no say d gal dey serious o. D gal go stop by for my house b4 she go work for night, na so d gal go nyash me merciless sotey i go just lie down for bed i no fit move, na so i go just dey snore b4 she comot go work,Club where i been wan go, i no fit go. Oga fineguy dey tell me say d gal don put me on lock down o, say na die i dey.I no sabi d kain jazz d gal dey carry waka. E get this thing wey she dey do, wey she go put condom for her mouth, then come roll am on without touching junior officer, its so damn sexy to c. So a couple days back when she come ma house, i tell am say i no wan do jare. I was determined to stand ma grounds. for where, dat gal no dey take no for answero, she just collect tv remote control from ma hand, switch channel put am on MTV J, she come turn all the light except one lamp off, begin dey dance, dey do slow strip tease, my blood was getting hot. I dey try bone, dey do tough guy, i dey tell my self u have to be strong. The way dat nyansh dey shake ehh, chei she come dey finger herself for my front, aaaah na so ma eye just dey pop like popcorn. na so she just waka come meet me for bed, come touch ma bodi, ahhh e come be like say nepa give light, na so everything 4 body just standa, junior officer dey seriously nod head, i come melt, before u fit finis spelling mungo park, i dey kiss d gal, dey nibble her neck, the suck on her boobs, come dey give the gal head. Come c as i dey rush to roll condom on junior officer, d gal sef don position her pussy for ma front, i begin the nyash d gal doggy like craze dog where neva c fuck before. Na so d gal, jus dey holla , "Calaba boi o, oh ma god, oh yes, harder baby harder, just like dat, yes" Omo na so i just dey move in and out d gal toto like say i dey pump water for village borehole. we come switch, as naida come dey on top dey nack me cowgal position, ahhh na so d gal eye don dilate eh, she just begin dey speak in tongues for her language. (d first time d gal talk for her language during sex,fear catch me no be small, i just dey wonder which kain incantation dis gal dey yarn over ma body, i even wan call mumsy make she fire prayer gimme, say indian gal don kill me) Na so we cum 2gether, ahh person go feel say na earthquake hit, d way d bed dey shake, with the noise we dey make. As we dey cuddle na, d gal tell me say "calabar boi, tell me u didnt like it" Me i just dey grin like He goat for my grandmama house. Kai my own don finis jare.

i don dey lok for ways to try avoid dis indian gal. I neva knew the day would come wey gal go render me helpless for bed, its always the opposite case. But by d time d gal finis wit me, na so i go tire eh. The other day d gal say she wan second round, aah i dey look am like say she don crase, second run k, ahhh u no go kill me for dis person country o. Thank God say d gal don get her period, na so i just dey happy eh, Dis past one week she no dey c my brakelight.

Did i tell u My roomie, Mr fineguy is back? Yeap Homeboy rocked NY and is back. So to celebrate we decided to go downtown for a few drinks, Nolan and Mr Flashy had tagged along and we at this bar, and i met this oyingbo gal i have been ignoring for a coupla months now. Dis particular ikebe don harrass my life no be small. The gal na big time nympho, i kid u not, I mean dis gal is ready to nyash 3 days non stop if she could have her way, na im i quick quick leave am as i no wan die yet. Reason wey i live am be say d homegal cum dey act like say na she own ma junior officer, say i no fit nyash any other person o. See wahala, we aint dating and u r acting all controlling and shit. So calabar boi have been ignoring the gal o since i met nadia but the gal was like "Calabr boi, Lets go to ma house, I got a gift for ya." i was like "stacy, i got a girlfriend now". She was like "what she don't know aint gonna hurt right". I dey look am like say u no know wetin me i dey go thru with nadia, na im u wan come carry ur own add. After enof talk, was able to convince her to go home with Nolan. The gal nyash Nolan so tey d homeboy no fit waka, na im d bobo call me dey curse me for im language say which kain gal i give am. I laugh no be small. Abi No be d guy wan fuck.

So na so me and ma crew dey club a coupla nights back, we just dey chill the browse all the kokolets, me sef ma eye don dey shine( u dey ask where nadia dey? i dey run from d gal o), na so this oyingbo boy come dey our front dey talk trash for mouth. Apparently oga fineguy been nyash d guy gal, so d gal go do confession give her guy. Omo na so the four of us gang up on d guy o, Come c as i come ghetto ehhh, i dey flow yarns like original Acata boy, person dey hear us talk go feel say we be proper Black Americanos. Come see efizzy, c levels wey we dey give ourself. Omo na so d bobo fear, na so im gal dey drag am comot. Na so me i dey holla " yea crackhead, get cha bitch arse outta here bfore i catch a muthafucking case off ur pussy arse." Omo Naija boys no dey carry last o.

Just wanna say thank u guys, for ur comments and stopping by on the blog and showing me love. U guys rock, am gonna keep doing what i do, Y'all just stay tuned and keep droppin dem comments. One Luv guys.

Its one and the only Calabar boi signing out.
P.s. Should i give u a brief taste of the next post, its about a certain gal from togo....hmmm u guys are gonna have to wait,

dat is eh

My people jist plenti o, Hw una dey na? Calabar boi just dey o. Oga fineguy wey i dey share 2bdr apartment with don run leave house o. Bobo dey enjoy for new york, na so every evening d bobo dey call, dey tell me of the atrocities wey him dey commit for brooklyn, me sef vacation come dey hungry me, e be like say i go run go cali go chill b4 school start again o.

Things don happen for the past coupla weeks man. Story plenti where i go nack una. 4 weeks ago, Oga fineguy parents decided to drop in unannounced from PH, naija. The previous night me, oga fineguy, my ibo brother (mr flashy) and my sri lankan friend( make i call am Nolan) we just jam club o, Oga nolan just buy 2008 mercedes c class o, so we just dey strut, dey pose, dey flex, dey jam to T.I new hit(whatever u like) dey enter club, b4 this we don hit a coupla bars downtown so i been don high with enough grey goose, Hennessy and smirnoff. It was amazing say cops no stop us dash us DUI ticket that night. Omo na so i just dey bust move for dance floor no be small, just dey shake body like my second uncle on my aunty brother side Mr michael jackson teach me. Omo as we just dey shake body now, boys don dey shine eye, dey look for kokolets wey we go carry go house na. As club end around 3am, we just dey outside dey chat up 3 chickas, dem come gree follow us go house.

As we reach house na, we don dey smile say dis one we go nyash till kingdom come. Na so dem gals drop bomb o. Dem say they were in their early 30s, we tell dem say age is just a number, because personally as long as u never clock 50, to me u r still fuckable. Dem drop second bomb say dem dey married, say dem don dey married ranging from 9 to 11 years. We say ok, na wahala e go make life easy we nyash u finish, u go back go meet ur husband, no strings attached. Na so dem drop another bomb say d three of them get 2 pickin each. Say their husbands carry their pickin dem go camping so dem sef dey do gals nite out.

Omo as i take one of them enter room na( make i call am emily). Na so d gal dey talk say she no know whether she wan do again o, see whahala o, omo na so i spend 45 minutes dey hustle dis gal no be small,d gal sef stubborn pass naija woman o, I talk sotey saliva dry for mouth, d drink wey i drink clear me for eye. After enough cajoling and talking the girl come gree. Omo na so i use vex nyash am, d gal sef dey freaky o, i nyash so tey after three rounds, my junior officer no gree standa again o. Na im we go sleep o. 6.45am on the dot dis gal wake up o, say she wan do again. For my mind i dey yarn see me see wahala o, first u no wan do, now u wan kill me, ahh e no go better for u o. Luckily i had a legitimate reason, we had use all the condoms i had the previous nite, so i tell am say we no fit nyash o, say condom don finish. Na so d gal say make i nyash am raw, Na i tell am say no matter how juicy dat pussy dey, my junior officer no go nack am raw, i no know which kind std she get, in fact i no wan know, make she just keep am to her self. I have to be alive to shag another day o, i no wan dey take medicine for the rest of my life o. The gal say in a few hrs she go enter walgreens pick up condoms come back house.

A few minutes later, na so oga fineguy parents call o, say dem dey our former apartment make we come open the security locked entrance give dem. Na im oga fineguy tell dem say we don move give dem new address. wetin sef us be say the distance from the former apartment to the new one is roughly 20 mins. Omo na so oga fineguy call me tell me wetin dey happen, omo see as boys dey panic. Fear catch me no be small o. The speed wey we take discharge those gals ehh, u go feel say house dey on fire. we just dey holla, "ladies u gotta go, Now, Now, common move it. yeah dont forget ur bra, yeah pick up ur panties, yeah u gotta get ur arse outta here immediately". The gals sef come dey wonder wetin dem do. See as we dey do speed vacuuming and clean up, we just dey rip off all the wall posters wey women dey naked from wall, dey put up religious banners for wall, dey put up family pictures, open window up febreeze the entire apartment. A few minutes later fineguy parents enter house o, we just put up innocent faces, dey smile give dem. omo na so dem just spoil dat week o. If to say dem come catch us with women for house, oga fineguy parent for immediately call my own people, give dem dey gist, na so my parents sef for enter d first flight wey dey leave naija to yankee. I just dey imagine my old man for dey tell my mama,'' i told u. Didn't i say that boy should not have gone to school in America. Dont say i didn't tell u so. He should have gone to school in london where my two brothers are, so they could keep an eye on him''. My momsy sef for find naija church for yankee here make sure say i go deliverance, do dry fasting. The thought of it still gives me the jitters. No matter how old pickin dey, parents still dey get final word o. As per emily, i carry am go nolan house go nyash am four times dat week, as my apartment wasnt conducive for any woman to enter. After giving her enough koboko we just cut the nyashing rounds off as her husband been don come back. Pastor pickin, na dem dey spoil pass na.

On the other hand, our dream team try for beijing sha o. Make we give dem a hand of applause. Winning silver sef no be small thing. Much kudos to Siasia and the rest of the coaching crew. Those bobos try well well, to show say we no gats spend thousand of euros to employ froeign coach wey n fit coach at all.

E be like say ur boy don fall in lovina o. E get this indian gal wey we take the same Management class 4 spring semester, the gal sexy no be small. Me and Mr flashy go oga nolan house to go chop some kind spicy sri lankan food wey d guy don prepare, na so i go jam dis indian gal for dere (make i call am nadia). So we begin dey yarn just dey jist abt school, work and etc, i come ask am out the girl gree o. Omo na so i go wash my baby envy(dats my cars name by d way)well, well, clean am up so both the exterior and interior dey bling. Come dress up like one kain gentleman. luckily4 me( e sweet to get friend whose parents are stinkingly rich) b4 oga fineguy parents go dem drop me 6 grand( na 3 months pay check be dat o. na so i dey do yanga give my boss nowadays, i no dey work as much as before, d woman sef don dey complain, but dat one na different stori), so pepper don rest, money plenti to spend. so we just did the regular dinner and movies and later went on the lake walk and talked as we enjoyed the scenery, ur boy was just being the nice gentleman and everything. Normally, during the first dates, i dey unfailingly touch first base, by the third date i don touchdown, nack to my fullest. But for some reasons it hasnt being so, with nadia, since we have been out on almost 7 dates I no been wan rush am o, i dey keep d gal special. Who knows she might be the one. We finally made passionate love yesterday( Have u guys noted the change in words, we didnt have sex, "we made passionate love"). Am not gonna share the sordid details as i usually do, cos dis one dey special, i fit carry am go meet momsy, my naija gals make una no vex o. I can only say I was ninja fucked and it was spectacular, amazing, so fucking awesome and mindbreaking. Lets c how it plays out, dont know if i dey lovina levels, abi na just infatuation, cos i think my randy days might just be over.

Make una take am easy sha. To calabar gal, Hw far now?
God bless Y'all.