na so e be.

My people wetin dey? So me and nadia have been going out for a while now right. It kinda feels good to wake up to her brown sexy arse in ma bed. So the other day i met her brother. The brother and I had taken a Philosophy class a few years back, and the guy has a teribble attitude problem, since I be naija boy and we no dey take last i decided to put him in his place, so nevertheless we havent been on good terms since then. So this is how the conversation went...

Nadia bros: "I heard u going out with my lil sis"
Calabar boi: Yeah thats right.
Nadia bros: I dont like it
Calabar boi: Dats too bad bro.( felt like saying "who gives a fuck what u like.")
Nadia bros: I told my Dad about u two.
Calabar boi: oh yeah.
Nadia bros: He doesnt like Nigerians.
Calabar boi: He's entitled to his opinion.( I been one say something bad about im own country people, i just hold myself)
The guy just c say im no fit get rise outta me, na so him hiss commot. Felt like punching the short morrafucker.

Dat gal nadia na craze gal o, omo na so d gal don come overshadow my life like play. when i meet am d gal tell me say if i dey wit am, she go make sure say i no go look anoda woman. I feel say na joke, i know no say d gal dey serious o. D gal go stop by for my house b4 she go work for night, na so d gal go nyash me merciless sotey i go just lie down for bed i no fit move, na so i go just dey snore b4 she comot go work,Club where i been wan go, i no fit go. Oga fineguy dey tell me say d gal don put me on lock down o, say na die i dey.I no sabi d kain jazz d gal dey carry waka. E get this thing wey she dey do, wey she go put condom for her mouth, then come roll am on without touching junior officer, its so damn sexy to c. So a couple days back when she come ma house, i tell am say i no wan do jare. I was determined to stand ma grounds. for where, dat gal no dey take no for answero, she just collect tv remote control from ma hand, switch channel put am on MTV J, she come turn all the light except one lamp off, begin dey dance, dey do slow strip tease, my blood was getting hot. I dey try bone, dey do tough guy, i dey tell my self u have to be strong. The way dat nyansh dey shake ehh, chei she come dey finger herself for my front, aaaah na so ma eye just dey pop like popcorn. na so she just waka come meet me for bed, come touch ma bodi, ahhh e come be like say nepa give light, na so everything 4 body just standa, junior officer dey seriously nod head, i come melt, before u fit finis spelling mungo park, i dey kiss d gal, dey nibble her neck, the suck on her boobs, come dey give the gal head. Come c as i dey rush to roll condom on junior officer, d gal sef don position her pussy for ma front, i begin the nyash d gal doggy like craze dog where neva c fuck before. Na so d gal, jus dey holla , "Calaba boi o, oh ma god, oh yes, harder baby harder, just like dat, yes" Omo na so i just dey move in and out d gal toto like say i dey pump water for village borehole. we come switch, as naida come dey on top dey nack me cowgal position, ahhh na so d gal eye don dilate eh, she just begin dey speak in tongues for her language. (d first time d gal talk for her language during sex,fear catch me no be small, i just dey wonder which kain incantation dis gal dey yarn over ma body, i even wan call mumsy make she fire prayer gimme, say indian gal don kill me) Na so we cum 2gether, ahh person go feel say na earthquake hit, d way d bed dey shake, with the noise we dey make. As we dey cuddle na, d gal tell me say "calabar boi, tell me u didnt like it" Me i just dey grin like He goat for my grandmama house. Kai my own don finis jare.

i don dey lok for ways to try avoid dis indian gal. I neva knew the day would come wey gal go render me helpless for bed, its always the opposite case. But by d time d gal finis wit me, na so i go tire eh. The other day d gal say she wan second round, aah i dey look am like say she don crase, second run k, ahhh u no go kill me for dis person country o. Thank God say d gal don get her period, na so i just dey happy eh, Dis past one week she no dey c my brakelight.

Did i tell u My roomie, Mr fineguy is back? Yeap Homeboy rocked NY and is back. So to celebrate we decided to go downtown for a few drinks, Nolan and Mr Flashy had tagged along and we at this bar, and i met this oyingbo gal i have been ignoring for a coupla months now. Dis particular ikebe don harrass my life no be small. The gal na big time nympho, i kid u not, I mean dis gal is ready to nyash 3 days non stop if she could have her way, na im i quick quick leave am as i no wan die yet. Reason wey i live am be say d homegal cum dey act like say na she own ma junior officer, say i no fit nyash any other person o. See wahala, we aint dating and u r acting all controlling and shit. So calabar boi have been ignoring the gal o since i met nadia but the gal was like "Calabr boi, Lets go to ma house, I got a gift for ya." i was like "stacy, i got a girlfriend now". She was like "what she don't know aint gonna hurt right". I dey look am like say u no know wetin me i dey go thru with nadia, na im u wan come carry ur own add. After enof talk, was able to convince her to go home with Nolan. The gal nyash Nolan so tey d homeboy no fit waka, na im d bobo call me dey curse me for im language say which kain gal i give am. I laugh no be small. Abi No be d guy wan fuck.

So na so me and ma crew dey club a coupla nights back, we just dey chill the browse all the kokolets, me sef ma eye don dey shine( u dey ask where nadia dey? i dey run from d gal o), na so this oyingbo boy come dey our front dey talk trash for mouth. Apparently oga fineguy been nyash d guy gal, so d gal go do confession give her guy. Omo na so the four of us gang up on d guy o, Come c as i come ghetto ehhh, i dey flow yarns like original Acata boy, person dey hear us talk go feel say we be proper Black Americanos. Come see efizzy, c levels wey we dey give ourself. Omo na so d bobo fear, na so im gal dey drag am comot. Na so me i dey holla " yea crackhead, get cha bitch arse outta here bfore i catch a muthafucking case off ur pussy arse." Omo Naija boys no dey carry last o.

Just wanna say thank u guys, for ur comments and stopping by on the blog and showing me love. U guys rock, am gonna keep doing what i do, Y'all just stay tuned and keep droppin dem comments. One Luv guys.

Its one and the only Calabar boi signing out.
P.s. Should i give u a brief taste of the next post, its about a certain gal from togo....hmmm u guys are gonna have to wait,

dat is eh

My people jist plenti o, Hw una dey na? Calabar boi just dey o. Oga fineguy wey i dey share 2bdr apartment with don run leave house o. Bobo dey enjoy for new york, na so every evening d bobo dey call, dey tell me of the atrocities wey him dey commit for brooklyn, me sef vacation come dey hungry me, e be like say i go run go cali go chill b4 school start again o.

Things don happen for the past coupla weeks man. Story plenti where i go nack una. 4 weeks ago, Oga fineguy parents decided to drop in unannounced from PH, naija. The previous night me, oga fineguy, my ibo brother (mr flashy) and my sri lankan friend( make i call am Nolan) we just jam club o, Oga nolan just buy 2008 mercedes c class o, so we just dey strut, dey pose, dey flex, dey jam to T.I new hit(whatever u like) dey enter club, b4 this we don hit a coupla bars downtown so i been don high with enough grey goose, Hennessy and smirnoff. It was amazing say cops no stop us dash us DUI ticket that night. Omo na so i just dey bust move for dance floor no be small, just dey shake body like my second uncle on my aunty brother side Mr michael jackson teach me. Omo as we just dey shake body now, boys don dey shine eye, dey look for kokolets wey we go carry go house na. As club end around 3am, we just dey outside dey chat up 3 chickas, dem come gree follow us go house.

As we reach house na, we don dey smile say dis one we go nyash till kingdom come. Na so dem gals drop bomb o. Dem say they were in their early 30s, we tell dem say age is just a number, because personally as long as u never clock 50, to me u r still fuckable. Dem drop second bomb say dem dey married, say dem don dey married ranging from 9 to 11 years. We say ok, na wahala e go make life easy we nyash u finish, u go back go meet ur husband, no strings attached. Na so dem drop another bomb say d three of them get 2 pickin each. Say their husbands carry their pickin dem go camping so dem sef dey do gals nite out.

Omo as i take one of them enter room na( make i call am emily). Na so d gal dey talk say she no know whether she wan do again o, see whahala o, omo na so i spend 45 minutes dey hustle dis gal no be small,d gal sef stubborn pass naija woman o, I talk sotey saliva dry for mouth, d drink wey i drink clear me for eye. After enough cajoling and talking the girl come gree. Omo na so i use vex nyash am, d gal sef dey freaky o, i nyash so tey after three rounds, my junior officer no gree standa again o. Na im we go sleep o. 6.45am on the dot dis gal wake up o, say she wan do again. For my mind i dey yarn see me see wahala o, first u no wan do, now u wan kill me, ahh e no go better for u o. Luckily i had a legitimate reason, we had use all the condoms i had the previous nite, so i tell am say we no fit nyash o, say condom don finish. Na so d gal say make i nyash am raw, Na i tell am say no matter how juicy dat pussy dey, my junior officer no go nack am raw, i no know which kind std she get, in fact i no wan know, make she just keep am to her self. I have to be alive to shag another day o, i no wan dey take medicine for the rest of my life o. The gal say in a few hrs she go enter walgreens pick up condoms come back house.

A few minutes later, na so oga fineguy parents call o, say dem dey our former apartment make we come open the security locked entrance give dem. Na im oga fineguy tell dem say we don move give dem new address. wetin sef us be say the distance from the former apartment to the new one is roughly 20 mins. Omo na so oga fineguy call me tell me wetin dey happen, omo see as boys dey panic. Fear catch me no be small o. The speed wey we take discharge those gals ehh, u go feel say house dey on fire. we just dey holla, "ladies u gotta go, Now, Now, common move it. yeah dont forget ur bra, yeah pick up ur panties, yeah u gotta get ur arse outta here immediately". The gals sef come dey wonder wetin dem do. See as we dey do speed vacuuming and clean up, we just dey rip off all the wall posters wey women dey naked from wall, dey put up religious banners for wall, dey put up family pictures, open window up febreeze the entire apartment. A few minutes later fineguy parents enter house o, we just put up innocent faces, dey smile give dem. omo na so dem just spoil dat week o. If to say dem come catch us with women for house, oga fineguy parent for immediately call my own people, give dem dey gist, na so my parents sef for enter d first flight wey dey leave naija to yankee. I just dey imagine my old man for dey tell my mama,'' i told u. Didn't i say that boy should not have gone to school in America. Dont say i didn't tell u so. He should have gone to school in london where my two brothers are, so they could keep an eye on him''. My momsy sef for find naija church for yankee here make sure say i go deliverance, do dry fasting. The thought of it still gives me the jitters. No matter how old pickin dey, parents still dey get final word o. As per emily, i carry am go nolan house go nyash am four times dat week, as my apartment wasnt conducive for any woman to enter. After giving her enough koboko we just cut the nyashing rounds off as her husband been don come back. Pastor pickin, na dem dey spoil pass na.

On the other hand, our dream team try for beijing sha o. Make we give dem a hand of applause. Winning silver sef no be small thing. Much kudos to Siasia and the rest of the coaching crew. Those bobos try well well, to show say we no gats spend thousand of euros to employ froeign coach wey n fit coach at all.

E be like say ur boy don fall in lovina o. E get this indian gal wey we take the same Management class 4 spring semester, the gal sexy no be small. Me and Mr flashy go oga nolan house to go chop some kind spicy sri lankan food wey d guy don prepare, na so i go jam dis indian gal for dere (make i call am nadia). So we begin dey yarn just dey jist abt school, work and etc, i come ask am out the girl gree o. Omo na so i go wash my baby envy(dats my cars name by d way)well, well, clean am up so both the exterior and interior dey bling. Come dress up like one kain gentleman. luckily4 me( e sweet to get friend whose parents are stinkingly rich) b4 oga fineguy parents go dem drop me 6 grand( na 3 months pay check be dat o. na so i dey do yanga give my boss nowadays, i no dey work as much as before, d woman sef don dey complain, but dat one na different stori), so pepper don rest, money plenti to spend. so we just did the regular dinner and movies and later went on the lake walk and talked as we enjoyed the scenery, ur boy was just being the nice gentleman and everything. Normally, during the first dates, i dey unfailingly touch first base, by the third date i don touchdown, nack to my fullest. But for some reasons it hasnt being so, with nadia, since we have been out on almost 7 dates I no been wan rush am o, i dey keep d gal special. Who knows she might be the one. We finally made passionate love yesterday( Have u guys noted the change in words, we didnt have sex, "we made passionate love"). Am not gonna share the sordid details as i usually do, cos dis one dey special, i fit carry am go meet momsy, my naija gals make una no vex o. I can only say I was ninja fucked and it was spectacular, amazing, so fucking awesome and mindbreaking. Lets c how it plays out, dont know if i dey lovina levels, abi na just infatuation, cos i think my randy days might just be over.

Make una take am easy sha. To calabar gal, Hw far now?
God bless Y'all.

Na wa o

How una dey na? I neva blog in a while o, U dey ask why? I be aajepako boy o, i gat hustle for school fees o. my people na so boys just dey jump from one job to the other for dis america way i come, so tey all d oyingbo don know me as oga overtime, na so my boss dey tell me and oga fineguy say "u two nigerians are making too much money in this company". Na im i tell am say na so e suppose be. Boys gat make money so we fit flex when time reach.

My people na so iphone 3G comot july 11, ah come see line where dey in front AT$T office na. People dey craze for this Iphone o. My people talking of iphone u no say levels dey for dis yankee. Na so me and oga fineguy just dey pose dey denge anyhow dey dream of day where we go enter naija go dey oppress home base naija boys, na so oga fineguy Uncle dey enter yankee next week o, the guy wan come yankee come buy 50 Iphones to go sell for naija. Omo na so i just dey open mouth o, as i dey so i no fit even buy 7 Iphones na so one person wan come buy 50. I dey talk with my bros d other day na so d guy just dey ask me if i dey enter naija xmas, na so i tell am say i neva know. Na im dey guy dey tell me say as if i come, make i no carry some yeye small change four thousand dollars come dey pose for naija, na so d bobo tell me say for every money wey i comot say him go double am. Omo fear catch me o, na dis one people dey talk say money no dey naija.

Na im i dey ask my bros say why old boy no dey gree pay my fees anymore, na so d guy yarn me say my old man still dey vex say i no go london go school, say i come choose to go school in America against his wish, dey study wetin im no want make i study, say i dey on my own o. Naija parents na wa for dem o, dey one dictate person life from A to Z, omo I rather suffer do program i wan do, than to let dem tell me wetin i gats do.

Omo na so my boss hire new chika for work o, omo baby gal fine no be small, na so i just dey watch dat nyash dey rotate, dey bounce as she dey waka. Omo dat gal nyash fit raise the dead o. Damn na so i just dey dream of nacking dat nyash o. Na God go save me o.

Omo d other day, I just decide say I go respect myself, dey with one gal. stop this womanizing and just be a good boy all through. Omo e neva even reach 3 hrs na so i get 3 calls from 3 different koklets, one of dem na one gal wey just dey do yanga gimme, Na im i give the first two appointment, na so i go block d third gal for her apartment, we just dey yarn, we come commot go c movies come back her apartment , na so baby gal no fit keep him hands from me o, for my mind i just tell am say u don die today.

My people i neva meet woman wey dey scream like dis gal o, i no say woman gats moan, when she dey feel dey koboko inside am. but dis gal na something else o. Na so d gal just dey scream, dey yell "oh my god, it feels so good, fuck me harder, oh my god, oh yes" sotey i gats stop twice in the middle of the nacking ask d girl wether she sure say she dey alright, na so d gal dey say" am alright, just keep fuckin me" being the gentleman i was, I had to oblige the lady. After three rounds and 3 magum condoms,na so d gal just dey tell me say she neva nack in almost 8 months o, say i don satisy am well well, omo na so calabar boy nod head, i come congratulate myself.

Abeg make una tell obama make d bobo dey careful dis wan wey im dey go middle east o. I dey fear o. My people i go dey keep una current on the happenings around dis yankee. Make una all take am easy and God bless.

dis yankee sef

Plenti things happen dis week o. I lost one of my friends dis past week, make una relax o, no be dat kind lost i dey talk about. This friend of mine, I go call am, Oga lyrical decided to take his relationship with his girl to a deeper level. I still dey try decide whether I like that idea or not because dis is a guy dat we go girl mongering together. The guy dey date this hot asian babee, na so the girl just steal my guy heart, na so so love my guy dey yarn this days.

Another of my guy, oga sexy just started dating this naija gal, i dey jealous d guy no be small. Na so bobo don begin dey fat, with all the good cooking and the good loving baby gal dey give am. The guy, ajepako pickin like me, where we dey hustle two jobs dey go school, now the guy dey do one job o, because the gal dey help pay most of his college fees. The girl is well loaded, since her popsi na senator for naija. Homeboy is just crusing around and enjoying life, while dey rest of my boys and I dey hustle for this yankee where we come.

E get one thing wey dey happen wey dey vex me well well for this yankee. The day where i decide go club with woman na dat day, gals go on their own accord begin dey flirt with me. The day wey i no go club with woman, na so me and oga fineguy go gat pull teeth to fit carry all at least one of dis yeye oyingbo gals go house. A couple weeks ago, i dey club with woman, i dey do good boy dey behave myself, as I wan dey on the girl good books so she fit let me nack. As my date for the night go ladies room, na so this American indian chikala, walk over just begin dey yarn with me o. After introductions, omo na so the gal ask me Point blank, "Dude, u wanna fuck me", I was like, "say what?", and she repeated her self and was like "we could go to my car or your place or wherever, i just wanna fuck". I was like Damn, perfect opportunity for a hard horseback riding in the back seat of the car, I could only take her number as my date for the evening was on her way back.

On a more personal note, I for nearly get another gal wahala this weekend. Na so I comot for work saturday night around 11pm rush go house go ready to hit club dat nite. I been don arrange to meet one sexy oyingbo chiakala like dat o. Omo as we dey drive dey go club now, d gal say she wan go dis particular club where me i dey avoid because of the wahala wey i jam for the club 2 months ago-Make I tell una d wahala wey happen, two months ago, I dey work for school library o, na so one of my co-workers angie dey tell me of her friend Jennifer where like me o, omo, na so I just dey strut, dey pose, dey flex anyhow, anytime jennifer dey around o. After enough flex for my side, na so jennifer invite me come im house one monday night, the horny fuck dat I was, i agreed, had dinner and gave the girl the koko all night. The poor gal probably taught I was the real deal and was expecting a relationship or something. After going back for second round tuesday and left overs on wednessday night, I no gree d call the gal anymore. After one week pass, jennifer call me one saturday night, ask me whether i wan go club, i tell am say i gat read for a class, the gal was like ok whatever. Meanwhile that same saturday night i deide go club with a different gal where oga fineguy introduce give me, Omo na so I Just dey chill with this new babe na im Jennifer enter club with her friends,na so wahala burst. All I could say was Damn, am fucked. Na so jennifer walk up to me begin dey shake ground, dey rake, dey do gragra,wan fight this other girl, na so club bouncers came to my hep and carry jennifer comot o. The gal where i carry go club sef don begin dey vex no be small, na im me i begin dey do big time damage control, because I no say i fit call jeniffer anytime, spin some yarns and get back into her pants but this new gal where i neva nack no go be the same deal. With much help from oga fineguy the situation was diffused- Luckily, the night went on without incident, even though i spent most of the night looking over my shoulder.


My people I want to put in a fresh application to all the loaded and unloaded naija gals in yankee, and all the sugar mummies in yankee, make una look una boy up now. I am a well endowed naija male, with great skills and stamina in bed, with a good sense of humour, please without sounding desperate make una holla back at me. LoL. E go better, My people make una take am easy o.

Wahala dey o.

Trouble dey sleep yanga go wake am up o. For D town wey I dey stay most of the time, naija chikalas no plenty o. D ones wey dey don get bobo already and since we no get time to dey relationshsip with oyingbo we just dey nack quickies with any woman wey enter our trap. Na so me and my boy oga fineguy dey house, Na im we decide say make we cruise for oga fineguy new lexus, enter downtown go club small. As we enter club, we don switch level from serious college boys to horny cats on the prowl. We just dey sonch all d gals dem, dey decide which one we fit convince make we carry go house, make we go do the forbidden with. Fate smiled on us dat night, na im i meet one gal wey we been dey take d same General psych class the semester before, omo we begin yarn o, I dey spin my web, d gal sef dey digest am. Oga fineguy sef, don find im own level with one smallee like dat. As club close now, we dey carry d two beautfiul babes back home, for our mind we don chop dem already, we don dey think of the different positions wey we go nack, d think of how many condoms we go use dat night. We no know say wahala just dey follow us.

We just dey drive o, na im we hit red light o,as the signal change to green,we begin dey drive o, omo na one yeye car leave im lane come nack us,come leave big dent for oga fineguy new car. Trust naija boys we comot from the car, begin the raise holy hell, na so we dey blow phonetics like say tommorow no go come. Meanwhile as we dey do all this gragra, oga fineguy never tell me say im no get insurance for the car o. As police come now, begin dey ask for license and insurance information na where wahala begin o. Oga fineguy show license, e no get insurance, na so police give us 500 dollar ticket o, come tow the car plus. Luckily for us, the other guy was at fault, so his insurance had to pay for the damage to the car.

To add insult to injury, the policewoman come carry the two chikas wey we wan carry go house, go drop them for their house 'for their safety". The police woman tell us say we e no get space for im car, say we dey on our own o. Na so God punish us dat nite, na so we slam for leg 5 blocks down to our house in the dead of winter. pussy we no fuck, car we no get, Money to call cab we no get. Wahala plenti for this yankee o.

Reminds me of another incident, coupla months ago, two of my Homies from naija, enter yankee to go school. So d bobos dem come stay with me and oga fineguy, Since we no get anything to do apart from work, omo na so we enter club o, it was the slow season for club because of christmas break, since students don leave town go dey with thir family. Na im we come dey able to carry two chikalas go house o, since dis boys neva nyash oyingbo toto before na im we say make we dey hospitable, offer them condoms, tell dem make them nack first, but d rule be say nack to ur full, comot make another person nack. omo as dis boys enter room dem turn to microsoft corporation, na so dem monopolise d chicks all night, dem no gree comot from room, na so Me and oga fineguy jus dey outside with stiff boners dey listen to moans of pleasure all night. Bloody fucking pricks. Till today i still dey vex for them.


On a serious note though, Me and my boys dey talk the other day, since we don almost finish this school thing we don dey think of settling down with some cute naija ladies. Naija single ladies, what sayest thou?

Done

Finally brought the school year to a successful end dis week. I take my last finals for the semester. Omo e be like say dis oyingbo professors dem been wan kill me with heavy workload, I just dey thank God o, e been be like say this last semester for burn my nyansh well well. Na so ur bros just dey do business simulation, dey run from one business class to the other, dey run excel, minitab and office software like say tommorow no go come, but yeah am done and it feels good to be done.

Sun don dey shine for dis side sha, d wahala for spring be say all dem sexy mamacitas dem go dey shed their winter gear, na so so woman nyash boys dey look o, Damn thing is driving me insane.

So boys dey look to hustle dis school break, gats find some extra jobs to work ma arse off and make some money, money, e go better sha. I gats begin dey make application give all dem sugar mummies dem, make dem know say my resume dey very attractive, my stamina in d sack is impressive and I can shag as many times as possible a day as long as d finances can be handled, lol.

Anyhow my people make una enjoy sha o.

wetin dey wrong with naija babes for yankee?

I dey talk with my ghana friend d other day about dis issue of marriage. Na so bros tell me say im no fit marry oyingbo woman o, say d idea say im go wake up for morning c white bodi beside am, no dey appealing at all. Bobo say when im ready 2 marry, say im go catch d next plane to accra go take im time, take look for proper ghana woman, carry come back yankee. Na so most of my naija friends dey yarn say dem dey go naija go find woman.
D question wey me i dey ponder on b say, if all of us dey go naija go marry, who go marry d naija women dem wey dey yankee? I believe say correct naija women dey for this oyingbo land wey boys fit relate with, marry. I no just dey d levels, wey woman for naija go tell u or do anything make u bring am come yankee, make im come change im color.
Na so my people for naija dey call, dey ask me say when i go carry woman come meet dem. dem dey tell me say plenty gals don dey wait for me make i come back from, na im i tell my uncle say when dem don tire to wait they go find another person marry. if i wan marry i go find one of naija ladies dem wey full dis country, take time know am, do d proper thing with am.